Becoming a Childbirth Educator

Birth of a baby, a mother, a father, and a family is a big deal. The biggest deal. So few want to admit this to themselves or others because socially, what happens in your birth is expected to bear out in your life only to the extent that it applies to the health of your baby. Women want to talk about birth. We need to talk about it. But most of the talk we are able to do, in most social circles, is dumbed down and sugar-coated, hiding the glimmering shards of deep meaning, emotional upheaval, and spirituality.  We find a certain comfort in, as Sue Monk Kidd said, “trivializing our experiences," because it is "a very old and shrewd way of controlling ourselves.” When we belay deep feeling and say or believe that most things that happen to us are no big deal, it convinces us we are coping and keeps the people around us comfortable. There is no bigger deal than birth. There are only two things that match the enormity of the importance of birth. Death, and love. These three are all wrapped up together, but above all we must remember that birth is about love.

Having a baby is an act of love. It’s a culmination of your love for your partner, yourself, your baby, your family, the world. Are babies conceived and born without love? Of course. But to have a birth devoid of love is truly rare. Part of being human is being susceptible to love, however it comes.

Birth is about trust, and trust is a symptom of love. Trust is also a symptom of respect, and the ideal birth is a reflection of both. Women who give birth today can choose between giving our trust (control) to doctors and machines--because we don’t trust our bodies, our selves, mother nature, or God, or giving control (trusting) our bodies, ourselves, mother nature, and God--because we don’t trust our doctors. It sucks, it’s not safe, and it’s why we need birth education.

Because doctors have the technology and skills to help when there is a real problem, they think they must always control the power. They believe that you are safest if you give them full control. The most poignant thing I've read  so far in preparing to teach is the importance of learning that control is an illusion. Birth and motherhood are much easier after that lesson is learned. I learned this very slowly over the last 4 years since my first birth. It was a hard lesson to learn, and, ironically, one that makes me almost giddy for my next birth. I wish I had learned it before my first; it likely would have saved me a lot of turmoil and a nasty case of postpartum OCD. Unfortunately, and in some ways fortunately, control-as-an-illusion is the last thing an obstetrician will ever learn. So the majority of our births are heavily controlled by doctors. I believe our mothers, sisters, friends, and neighbors would tell us about birth and how to do it if they felt they handled it themselves. But most of them just feel lucky to be alive and have no idea how they did it or don’t believe that they did do it.

Birth education shows people what they are capable of, gives them the knowledge they need to participate in their own decisions, and allows them to take back their birth. It shows them how to be involved, to allow birth to teach them and change them. To love their birth, however it happens.

Normal childbirth is a natural body process, but it is not supposed to be like blowing your nose. Birth changes you, no matter what kind of birth you have. Birth education helps ensure that it changes you for the better. It’s a guidebook and a steady hand for the quivering leap we all take when we bring a child into the world. Birth is the ultimate teachable moment. The enormity of the experience leads parents to redefine themselves, to redefine love.

Women love to talk about their births. They need to talk about their births. Let’s give them something to talk about. How about love?

I've decided to teach Birth Boot Camp classes. I love the the down-to-earth, modern approach, the accessible student workbook packed with charts and guiding information, and the focus on finding your own best birth. I hope to start teaching fall 2013.

Pregnancy Posture

This is part of a series of posts on Breech as a Symptom of Exposure. Those of us with breech babies know the nagging feeling that we did something to cause the malposition of our babies. Clinically, we're told that breech babies are an enigma, that there's precious little we can do to influence the baby to turn and virtually nothing we can do to prevent it from sitting breech in the first place. In the vast encyclopedic manual of the internet, however, we are exposed to every imaginable possibility. Among the theories and discussions on the causality of breech exists the possibility that some breech is a symptom of exposure to some malignant force in our modern world.

How you sit makes a difference for your body mechanics as well as your baby's. 

You can sit in such a way that cramps the baby's space or torques your body into 

unusual positions and probably makes malposition more likely. 

The Car
Car seats are particularly poorly made for good alignment, which is extra important in pregnancy to give the baby plenty of room. Avoid lengthy car rides as much as possible. For best body mechanics, posture, and core strength, whether pregnant or not, follow these steps to a better car seat.

Step 1. Adjust the back to be straight up. You are trying to create an L shape to sit on, like a church pew. Alignment experts recommend the back be all the way up. Big hair? I keep my hair in a bun or ponytail a lot, so the seat back straight up as recommended makes my head tilt forward uncomfortably. I tilt it back just enough to make room for my hair.

Step 2. If it's a feature on your car, adjust the front of the seat (where your thighs are) so that it is parallel to the floor, or as parallel as you can get it. When sitting in the seat, you want your knees on level with your hips or below your hips, not above so that your butt is wedged in a little nest. While taking pictures for this post, I discovered that there are, incredibly, five different ways the driver's seat of my mini-van can be adjusted. You can help your alignment a lot by adjusting these.

Step 3. Undo the butt-in-bucket effect of the car's bucket seat. Place a folded towel in the space to make the seat more even and parallel to the floor. Even when you have adjusted in steps one and two, you will see a little butt crevice that is supposed to be comfy. It is comfy, but it's not good. The seat looks somewhat like a check mark. Sitting for long periods in a check mark is a good way to get a breech or posterior baby. It's also a good way to mess up your natural body alignment, weaken your core, and cause yourself chronic discomfort.

How to fold a towel wedge for the butt crevice in the car or elsewhere.

1. Fold the towel in half.

 2. Then in thirds, overlapping
slighting in the center.

3. Fold one edge in about
1/4 the length

4. Finally, fold the opposite side
 all the way over top the last 1/4 length fold. 

You can also use a slo-mo or other kid's ball that has all but a small amount of air removed. Place this mostly deflated ball between your butt bones to help raise you up and tilt your pelvis. I think this feels good when sitting on a bench or kitchen chair as well.

Looks sexy, huh?
The 'gooier' the ball material, the better!

Step 4. Use the fake pedal on the left to brace yourself and perfect your alignment. Shoulders square, both hands on the wheel. Ten and Two like your dad always told you. Symmetry and balance. When you lean back and put that one long arm at Twelve o'clock, nothing but torque in your spine and breech in your belly.


Now, Test your alignment.
1. Knees at or below level of hips?
2. Pelvis tilted down slightly, into the seat?
3. Small of back curved in, not rounded out?
4. Shoulders back, two hands on wheel for symmetry and balance?
5. Rib cage down? Core engaged?

A good test for #2 and #3 is as follows: Rock side to side a bit to feel the butt bones you're sitting on. Feel 'em? Now tilt your pelvis forward slightly-- the small of your back will curve in nicely, sticking your belly out. Great for your body and your baby.


Sitting in chairs

Midwives who work among the Amish have noted a significant increase in the incidence of breech since the Amish community switched from traditional wooden chairs to sofas and recliners. As you can imagine, they generally don't spend much time in cars. When you can, avoid sofas, recliners, and other lounge chairs. Pretend you are in a Jane Austen novel.

When sitting, make sure:

1. Knees at a 45 degree angle.
2. Knees at or below level of hips.

You see why a habitually cramped baby might stay breech
to give his head a bit more room up top.

3. Pelvis tilted down slightly, into the seat?
4. Small of back curved in, not rounded out?
5. Rib cage down? Core engaged?



Alternative sitting ideas:

Use a kitchen chair, but sit on it backwards, leaning on the back. This is excellent for creating a nice belly hammock for your baby, which helps her get into the best position for birth.

Use a Swedish chair.

Sit on a well-inflated exercise ball. Keep your feet apart and make sure your knees are apart, belly between your legs.

Tailor sitting on the floor. Use blankets or towels under butt and ankles as necessary.


Relaxing

When you can, instead of sitting on the couch or recliner, when you want to relax, just lay down. There are a number of good pillow and cushion arrangements to support your back and belly as you lay on your side.